Journey.

I have decided to make a life changing decision, like a journey of self-discovery. I am spending this year working on myself. That means absolutely no boy contact at all. It means I am going to make myself the best I can be, without distractions. I wanna do all of those things I always claim I want to do but I never do. I want to achieve academic excellence, I want to try playing soccer, I want to help someone, I want to get a job, I want to learn and discover how far I can go, what I can do, what do I love, and to what extent. I while I go, I thought what I really wanted was to do something that meant something to someone, and I still want that, but I guess now I want to do something that can mean something to me.

I'm not entirely sure when I got to the point where all my confidence started depending upon wether a guy liked me or not. I think, I just gave myself physically because I was too scared to let people in, to let them see me for who I am, because maybe, it's not good enough. And being scared of rejection is okay, but I guess that letting that fear take over means you no longer have a life, just fear. But, I know I can be better than this. I am better than this. I want to really be whoever it is I can be.