I'm kind of a mess.

I usually would never admit this, but I am really really scared that I am never gonna be able to love someone. In the last two years I know I have grown a lot.. I stopped letting boys define me, and I actually started caring, I found someone I grew to be extremely passionate about, and I found the best person I could have ever found to be my best friend.

But I've noticed, I've closed up to strangers completely. I mean I am social and I kinda put on a mask when I met people, I guess we all do. But I find it so hard to let anyone in, and I keep repeating that relationships are complicated. Sometimes I'm scared of my own conviction. I wonder what could have pushed a 16-year-old girl to not believe she can love or be loved. And I honestly don't know. I guess I don't wanna be hurt again like before. And I know I am missing out on a lot of really great things, but I'm missing the pain. I just sometimes wish I could believe in it again.

Davies.