jueves, 21 de octubre de 2010
I am so scared. I remember this feeling. The nervousness, the excitement, the butterflies in my stomach. It's what I felt about two years ago and it didn't end up well. The thing is I feel like I am making the same stupid mistake over again. And I don't want to because maybe, (I am not ignoring the fact that chances are slim), you and me go well together. But there's this little voice in my head that keeps telling me you don't wanna be with me. That I am not good enough. And during the last two years I thought I was over this. I stopped letting boys define me. Seems like I am back at the start.
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I read someone else's blog the other day...
ResponderEliminarand she normally just write lyrics and quotes she loves... but this once, she wrote a letter to her followers and thanked them, because each time they asked her trivial questions/ liked or commented on her blogs... it made her worthy when nothing else in her life was making sense at the time.
I thought that it was amazing... just because she was admitting to the fact that we as humans need to feel worthy.
You told me before that we never need to rush into relationships... that we don't have to make choices that society would otherwise force us to make.
If someone makes you feel "worthy" or special or happy... or even just excited when you are a bit down (because things are hard), then why should that make you feel bad.
You make me feel special... everytime I talk to you, even though our convos aren't amazing, I'm just glad to know that we have a connection. Because your friendship, I admit, makes me feel worthy and give me confidence.
What does it matter that it is a boy that makes you feel giggly and special?
seriously... what the hell.
If someone makes you feel something... boy or girl, they are special... and they could make a difference in your life.
I'm not saying that it will always end in a happy-fairy-tale-ending. It could end horribly, with you crying and the boy secretly laughing.
That's reality... but we need to step up and face it.
You don't have to make a decision on his position now, but you shouldn't have to fear someone that makes you feel like that.
If someone makes you feel pain, you accept it and deal with it... and know that its real.
But when someone make us feel good, we hide and doubt.
I don't understand why we do it... and I know this is a message to you, my sister, but I think I'm also writing it for me.
You don't have to let a boy define you. But you don't have to push away something that makes you feel good... happy... or simply alive.