I look at the mirror and I don´t recognize myself. It's like my worst nightmare is coming true : losing the person I had become, the person I was proud of just to come back to a version of myself that makes me ashamed to be who I am. It´s like everything I learnt is just fading away.
And I miss the old me. And I wonder what I would say to myself if I saw how I´ve been living. I feel like I fall short from the person I could be. I wonder if I could see myself last week drunk and making out with Carlos. My life is pretty good. I guess I was just looking for something to make it great.
And I feel like I don´t have real friends here anymore. Like I don´t belong. And I know everything is different now, but I just wanna go back to then things were normal. To when I knew who I was, who my friends were, to when I felt safe.
I can´t even talk to my parents. It´s my mother´s birthday this friday and there are so many things that I wanna say but.. I just can´t.
But I have hope, even though any reason to be hopeful is dwindling into almost nothing.
Patty, I haven't spoken to you in a while so I'm sorry but I want to tell you that everything takes a while to fall into place. So right now you may feel like you don't belong but you're an amazing person and I'm sure someone will have the puzzle edge yu need for everything to be okay.
ResponderEliminarAs for the identity thing, you are who you make yourself out to be.. and if that's someone who you don't like, change it. You have the ability to change yourself, to mould yourself and to be someone who you can recognise in the mirror.
Anyways, if you need to talk, I'm here. Always am. xxx