Okay I have been wondering what the hell to write for the last 40 minutes, and i found this document on my laptop. It is really random and it was kinda like a messed up diary...I have a normal diary where I write stuff, but this was more like a brainstorm of feelings. Anyway I have decided that I am going to publish some of it. So yep. Btw completely unedited. Dont judge.

Most of our lives, is a series of images, they pass us by like towns in the highways, but sometimes a moment stands unsaid and happens, and we know that this instant is more than a fleeding image. We know that this moment, every part of it, will live on forever.
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Stepping up : a simple concept. It basically means to rise above yourself, to do a little more, to do something special. Life’s funny sometimes, it can treat you pretty harsh, like when you fall in love with someone but they forget to love you back, or your best friend and your boyfriend leave you alone; like when you pull the trigger or light the flame and you can’t take it back. Like I said in sports, they call this stepping up. In life I call it pushing back.
We just don’t recognize the significant moments in our lives. When they’re happening er complain of ideas, or things, or people that we take for granted. And it’s usually not until that thing is about to be taken away from you, that you realize how much you really need it, how much you love it.
Every once in a while people step u`p. They rise above themselves. Sometimes they surprise you. Sometimes they fall short. Life’s funny sometimes, it can treat you pretty hard ,and if you look close enough, you’ll find hope : in the words of children, in the bars of a song, in the eyes of someone you love. And if you’re lucky, I mean the luckiest person in the entire planet, the person you love decides to love you back.
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Have you ever wondered why do want to do whatever you wanna do? Because we all have big plans, we don’t have easy dreams, we always wish for the best, but we don’t really do anything to reach it. In my case I was wondering, why do I want to be an actress? What is it in me that needs it? Why would I want a job that only one in a million people are successful at? Why would I want to pretend to be someone else? Why do I want it? I could go to university and maybe study a good career, get a full payed job, with pluses for the extra hours. But I want to be that one. I want to put an awful lot of effort into it, and maybe one day, with some luck and hard work, prove everyone wrong, and prove that I am one in a million. When I act I put myself out there, and I prove myself that I can do whatever I really want. Also, I guess im looking for something to make me feel secure, confident, sure of myself, something to prove myself that I am good enough, that my art matters to someone, and maybe, some kid one day will turn on the TV, and the magic that a performance creates, that magic, for thirty minutes, it might make his world less scary. To create that magic, that is my dream, that is my goal. something I am going to work for, and the day I stop wanting that, I will have betrayed myself.
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You don’t need anyone to write about you to give your life a meaning, write about yourself and create your own destiny, and sometime you’ll be able to tell someone to paint over your words, to remind you how inspiring your life is.
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All I want is all what my mother wanted for me when she raised me - to be happy. For that, I don't need to be in a relationship. I don't need to have a certain level of respect. I just want to care very much about what I do and be kind to everyone in the process. It's important that I can feel that. That's happiness.